How to Train an Instagram Boyfriend
My boyfriend—who my parents call my “friend”—is a budding photographer. He is behind almost every photo I post (and those I overthink and end up not posting). He has become skilled in the area of editing. Sometimes he even presents photo ideas to me. “That’s fuego,” he’ll say. But he hasn’t always been this way. Oh, noooo. He has been (and is still being) trained by yours truly.
You see, we all want great photos that showcase our style, joie de vivre and natural beauty, but hiring a photojournalist to document the days of our lives may not yet be in the budget. The next best thing is an Instagram Boyfriend! You gotta love him. He’s there when you need him and because he’s with you, he obvi thinks you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. This is to your advantage! He is the key to documenting your life, growing your brand, getting stock photos of yourself, and capturing “candids” on date nights and at nice events. But make no mistake--Insta Boyfriends are made, not born. Here’s how to train an Insta Boyfriend in 7 steps!
Step 1: Cast the Vision
This is an absolute necessity. If you’re like me, you already know how you want the photo to look before you even hand him the camera (phone). You’ve been scrolling Pinterest and Instagram since ‘98 and have post inspo shots saved. So you know how it should look in your mind. Paint the picture for him. Show him sample photos. Tell him the bomb caption you have in mind. This will help him help you. Where there is no vision, the Insta Boyfriend perishes.
Step 2: Set Up the Shot
“Take this photo, babe” just isn’t going to cut it for him. He’s new to this, not yet true to this. Place the camera in his hand and hold it at the exact position and angle you envision. Adjust for optimal lighting if necessary. Remind him that no matter what you do in the frame, he is not to move. Only then should you walk into frame and channel your inner [insert favorite famous supermodel].
Step 3: Just Keep Clicking
This is when the magic starts happening. The stage has been set for your best photo yet, but there is still work to do—after all, you’re both model and director here. If he’s known you for even a minute, he should know that one photo just isn’t going to cut it. The wind may blow and give you a Beyonce moment. Pedestrians may pass behind you as you capture a New York City crosswalk photo. You may blink at the wrong moment! Who knows? You certainly don’t. So he must keep clicking until you say “Cut!” (I’m not kidding.) You just keep moving and serving the realness your audience loves to see.
Step 4: Review
No matter how great you set the shot up, you may still get some doozies. Scroll through photos and favorite the ones that stand out. I’d recommend you don’t leave the scene until you’ve got at least 1-2 money shots. If it gives you “eh” vibes, it’s not the one. It’s helpful at this point to encourage Boyfriend and tell him how a great a job he’s doing getting glamour shots of you outside in a snowstorm. Then recast the vision. Point out what’s great about the shots you see and say what you’d like to see in the next round of photos.
Step 5: Repeat
This step is important. Unless he’s a professional photographer, you will undoubtedly need to repeat this process at least once to afford yourself the most options in post-production. Any successful shoot should give you 3-5 photos for your timeline, story or even the blog. Blog shoots will obvi take longer to plan and shoot, but the same principles apply.
Step 6: Have Patience
Even after all his (your) hard work, most photos will still come out blurry or be otherwise not fabulous enough to post. That’s ok! He’s trying his best and over time, he’ll know all your best angles and won’t need as much instruction. Until then, resist your urge to flip out on him or make a scene.
Step 7: Pay Him
Instagram boyfriends don’t get enough credit. After all, they are quite patient with us. And every good photographer expects to be paid his worth. In this case, your kisses are absolutely what’s most valuable to him, so don’t withhold them! You can also take time to encourage him. My favorite line is “Omg you’re my favorite human. These are so great--thank you!” A little affirmation and a few kisses should sustain him until the next shoot (in the next few hours).
